


Missing my nemesis

by RoughTweedAction (Donya)



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M, Sheriarty - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2019-05-02 01:47:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14534016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donya/pseuds/RoughTweedAction
Summary: It's 4 May, the anniversary of the Reichenbach Fall and Sherlock allows himself to think about his late nemesis.





	Missing my nemesis

Sherlock was wide awake but made no move to get up. He wanted to close his eyes and sleep, ignore that particular day altogether. The fourth of May, the anniversary of Moriarty's death.

The memories were still fresh and still painful. Sherlock had analysed the moments leading to Moriarty's suicide, tried to determine if he had any real chance of preventing it. Back then, on the rooftop, he was confused about the handshake. Moriarty was left-handed and offered him his right hand. Sherlock found it odd. It didn't occur to him why Jim needed his dominant hand free. It seemed so obvious now. Sherlock had no idea how distracting eye contact could be. He was looking at Jim, watched him and didn't notice what Jim was up to. It happened so fast. Jim made no sound, Sherlock made more than enough. He couldn't forget the horror of being stuck there with Jim's body. He came up to him a couple of times but was physically unable of touching him, checking for the pulse. He couldn't believe Jim Moriarty was gone.

He thought he had come to terms with it. It felt symbolic to dismantle his criminal network, remove any trace of Moriarty from his life. It was a closed chapter, he knew and yet he couldn't really find closure. Deep inside he hoped it wasn't over yet, he secretly anticipated Jim's return. And when it happened, when a short clip of Moriarty prevented him from leaving the country, he wanted to believe it was real. He missed Jim, missed him enough to concentrate his feverish dream around him. He relived their first real confrontation and the fall and convinced himself that Jim was taunting him from beyond the grave. Despite his being dead, Jim continued to entertain him. Sherlock felt so alive when he thought he was solving a case created specifically for him by Jim. Finding out what it was really all about was such a disappointment, although it didn't compare to the final confirmation of Jim's death. He was never going to come back.

It was a peculiar feeling, losing Jim for good. Sherlock knew it was best to keep it to himself. He doubted anyone could understand why he missed Jim so much. The emptiness, the void no one else could fill, it was something only Sherlock understood. Only Jim was truly interested in Sherlock's dark side. Only he wanted to see the real Sherlock. Was it strange to imagine what would have happened had they left the rooftop alive?

Sherlock rolled on his stomach and pulled the duvet over his head. He couldn't forget that one, only one time when he shared his bed with another person. He could almost feel it, the touch of Jim's hands on his back and hips. He remembered the weight of Jim's body pressing him into the mattress, Jim's fingers in his hair, pulling his head back. He had never felt anything like that before, that kind of pleasure. He remembered how easily he lost control and how loud and desperate he was. It was supposed to be their secret way of unwinding after a long day of dealing with the ordinary people, at least Sherlock thought so. But then the time came for their final confrontation and Jim left Sherlock forever unsatisfied.

He closed his eyes. He was standing close to Jim again, holding his hand, looking into his eyes. Jim opened his mouth. Sherlock realised why, noticed the movement of his free hand. He managed to grab Jim's hand, after a brief struggle he took his gun away. He wasn't going to let him leave.

**Author's Note:**

> That feeling when 1/2 of your otp is dead.


End file.
